The Before and Now

I love a good success story. Before and after pictures really motivate, especially when the person has found success the same way I’m trying to. At one time I was somewhat of a success.
I shared pictures of myself sitting down in tight clothes. I would’ve never done that before losing weight.

20140312-085151.jpg
I posed with my way-too-big jeans

20140312-085312.jpg
I showed what I believe to be the worst picture of me ever taken, one that shows how big I was at 300 pounds.

20140312-085433.jpg
I considered myself a success for being able to be photographed from any angle and not look like that anymore.

Since having Quinn, I have a newfound appreciation for my body. It’s stronger than I ever thought it was. The problem is, I haven’t been honoring my body. Though it was wonderful and delicious, I had more cupcakes than I can count this weekend. I’m still struggling with overeating, that’s no surprise to me. What is a surprise to me is how close I look to that before picture.

20140312-090144.jpg
And a side by side for comparison

20140312-090221.jpg
I know I look heavy in the pictures from Quinn’s party, and I’m ok with that. Years ago I would’ve cropped every picture or deleted every one that showed how big I was. Matt uploaded pictures to Facebook last night while I as sleeping. This morning I was scrolling through and smiling, despite the pictures that clearly show how much weight I’ve gained. All I saw was my gorgeous baby enjoying her day surrounded by friends and family that love her.

20140312-091240.jpg

20140312-091313.jpg

20140312-091332.jpg
When I see these pictures, I see a happy baby exploring the joys of cake.

20140312-091452.jpg

20140312-091513.jpg
I see a rare picture where I’m the shortest one! That never happens! I’m 5’9 and come from a really tall family.

20140312-091659.jpg
I see Quinn’s face light up as she’s being pushed on her new swing at my parent’s house.

20140312-091816.jpg

20140312-091915.jpg
I see Quinn and my daddy, who suddenly looks older than he should.

What I don’t see is that success story I want to be. I’ll even admit, that above unflattering picture got me out of bed quick this morning to delete it off Facebook. Then I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself.

If I’m deleting pictures of myself again, am I on the right track?

Also, how can a 30+ pound difference look the same in pictures? In the old picture I was in the late 290s. In the one from this weekend I’m in the 260s.

The problem is me. I’m not consistent. I track sometimes. I know I need to track ALL times to get results.

I’m also tracking on my fitness pal as well as Weight Watchers to compare the two.

I’ve nursed Quinn successfully for a year. One of my fears was over exercising or dieting and experiencing a drop in milk production. If that happens now, I’m ok with it. She eats enough “real” food to wean if my supply drops. Hopefully it won’t, but I have to get healthy.

So here I am. Who’s ready to do this with me again?

Day 1. Operation No More Deleting Pictures.

20140312-093447.jpg

About these ads
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Before and Now

  1. i loved, Loved, LOVED this post! i’m in the same boat as you. have lost some, but need to lose more, but i’m not because i’m not consistent. i’m ready to do this again!! no more deleting pictures! you can do this :)

  2. Samantha says:

    Beautiful post! I’ve read your blog for a while now and am so encouraged and inspired by your journey.

  3. Staysail says:

    Her cake was so cute! And I love the swing photo. Happy Bday Quinn!

  4. I can SO SO SO relate. I recently found your blog and started following immediately because our stories are quite similar, right down to how we met our husbands. A little over two years ago, I was at my heaviest (270 pounds on a 5’3 body). I joined MyFitnessPal and found all of my success on there including meeting my eventual husband. We talked on there for weeks and when he asked if we could be friends on Facebook, I panicked. I immediately “hid” and made private all the fattest pictures of me on there, even though he himself started at 400 pounds and would have loved me regardless of my size. Anyway, a few months later, I was down about 50 pounds and he came for a visit. He was supposed to stay a week and he never left! He came from California to New York, so we were about 3,000 miles apart for the beginning of our relationship. After about a year and a half, we got married in October 2013. He’s lost about 200 pounds and I’ve lost about 118. After our wedding and honeymoon though, and eating whatever we wanted for two weeks, it’s been so hard for us to get back on track, and we’ve both gained some weight. Now we’re working on being good again and tracking all the time, though we still don’t track all the time like we used to. It’s a lifetime battle, and only those who have been big themselves can understand the struggle with food.

    Anyway, I thought it was really cool when I saw how you and your husband met through weight loss as well – people are always amazed at how we met and our story. I also want you to know that I totally get everything you say and struggle with weight-wise. I have been there – in fact… I still AM there. I’ve still got about 20-30 to lose, but it’s been such a struggle lately. I’ll have a few good days of tracking everything again and staying within my calories, and then a few days where I eat whatever the heck that I want. I need to get back to where I was when I was tracking all the time.

    Sorry for the humongous comment. I’ve been wanting to email you and reach out. If you want someone to talk to who has been through all of this before, and still is going through it, please feel free to email me. It’s on the contact page on my blog.

    You are beautiful and so is your family. I believe you can do it! Hugs and cheers from New York!

  5. So I just wrote this ginormous novel of a comment, and then I don’t think it worked because I wasn’t signed in, so if you get this twice, I’m sorry and please delete.

    I SO SO SO relate to this and you. I recently found your blog and started following immediately because we had so many similarities, right down to how we met our husbands. A little over two years ago, I was at my heaviest (270 pounds on a 5’3 frame) and decided I was sick and tired of it. I got on MyFitnessPal and immediately started tracking all of my calories all the time. While I was on there, I also met another MFP user named Jerry. We started talking and hit it off. Soon he asked if he could befriend me on Facebook and I panicked a bit. I hid and made private all of my fattest pictures on there before I accepted his request. Even though he started at 383 pounds, I didn’t want him to see me at worst, though he would have loved me anyway. A few months later, I was down about 50 pounds and he came for a visit from California to New York. He was going to stay for a week and then just never left! We were about 3,000 miles apart for the first couple months of our relationship. We continued working out together and tracking on MyFitnessPal. He’s lost a total of about 200 pounds and I’ve lost about 118.

    Then we got married in October 2013 and ate whatever we wanted for two weeks straight for the wedding and honeymoon. It was the first time we were ever really “bad” since starting on MFP. After that, it’s been SO hard for us to get back on track. We both put on a bit of weight back, and haven’t been logging all of our food as we used to. I’ll have a few good days where I’m logging it all again and staying within my calories, and then a few bad days where I won’t log anything and pig out. I still have about 20-30 pounds to lose still, but in order to do that, I need to be back on track. I know this is going to be a lifelong battle and only those of us who have had weight issues can understand that.

    Anyway, I’ve been wanting to reach out to you and just say that I’ve been there. In fact, I still AM there. I also think it’s cool how you met your husband because of weight loss, just like I did! People are always amazed at how we met.

    If you ever want to talk, please feel free to email me. It’s on the contact page on my blog. I 100% understand this struggle and I am right there with you. You and your family are beautiful. I believe you can do it! Hugs and cheers from New York!

  6. Shellie says:

    yes..yes…yes….let’s get started again and stay on track and Happy Birthday Quinn!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s